


cradled by the bare sky

by Tarredion



Series: Christmas gifts 2019 [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, Coming Out, Family, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:13:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21935758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarredion/pseuds/Tarredion
Summary: (COTY inspired)“What did you want, mum?” he asks, the words a mere whisper, his lips curving into a quivering smile. He stays where he is, one hand resting on the frame. Both of the gestures break her heart. She knows he wants to get the truth out there, as they’ve had a silent agreement for quite some time, but seems too scared to try.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: Christmas gifts 2019 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1579585
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53





	cradled by the bare sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [waveydnp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/gifts).



> Merry Christmas Wavey!

Kathryn has always loved her sons dearly. She wants to make it known to her youngest one that her love won’t change no matter who _he_ loves, as long as he’s kept safe.

The truth is he’s already safe and sound with who he loves, and all that has to be cemented in his wonderfully creative mind is that she has no judgement left. Not for either of them. As if she had any in the first place.

She remembers the little red haired boy, running around the house releasing his fair share of energy, asking the most random questions on the most random topics, making his brother sigh and make up tiny white lies to mess with him. She smiles, now, as she always has.

The love for her sons has never changed through all her life.

She’s sitting in silence, folded arms and two hot mugs in front of her, when his footsteps come creaking down the stairs. Adjusting the red dressing gown with a sweep of her arm and a swish of her hand, she moves into a more comfortable position. It leaves enough room for Phil to sit on the sofa next to her, if he needs to. 

There he comes, entering the darkness of the room on light feet. Kath senses his hesitance, most likely from leaving Dan asleep upstairs, and refrains from patting the seat next to her. He needs to do this on his own accord, she’s sure. The fear building is imminent.

“What did you want, mum?” he asks, the words a mere whisper, his lips curving into a quivering smile. He stays where he is, one hand resting on the frame. Both of the gestures break her heart. She knows he wants to get the truth out there, as they’ve had a silent agreement for quite some time, but seems too scared to try.

Kathryn picks up her steaming mug, and gives a light nod in his direction before she sips. “What do _you_ want, my child?”

She makes sure there’s a caress in every word, that he feels safe and comfortable moving closer, speaking his truth to her. Yes, she already knows, but it is better to not just assume and let him put it into his own words.

That she does know better than anything else.

Phil is still frozen with one foot inside the room, and the other facing away. He glances back, his gaze looking for comfort in the home he’s most definitely unsure he’ll be allowed to keep.

The way his hand clasps the other arm as it falls from the doorway tells her he is still far away, in a distant embrace. Longing. She knows that feeling well.

He looks back to her, barely able to hold the smile upright, worry swimming in his pale blue eyes. His dark hair is still a mess, from the encounter he’s clearly just had with the one he loves. That’s also where the ‘guilt’ written all over his face comes from, she presumes. She wants to wipe it off right away. It’s an itching urge in her bones.

Those messy tufts are the very same she has seen on his head since he was born, albeit in a very different colour.

Phil reaches his mother with a sad expression on his unsteady face. His body closed off as well as his mind, the answers and questions of many dancing on his tongue. Still his mouth is clamped shut, in a painful way.

She’ll ease him into it. It’d hurt the both of them to pull the teeth off his tongue, even more so to even begin prying his lips open.

“I- mum, if you heard me and Dan..” he whispers, with such careful breathing it’s like he thinks the words will bite him. “If you heard anything at all from upstairs, then, um, really, it was nothing.”

“Nothing at all?”

“ _Nothing_.”

There’s that look of guilt again. Her nurturing, motherly, parental affection simmers in her bones, threatening to bubble over too quickly and too early. Taking another sip from her mug, she prepares herself for the inevitable, and bites her tongue to just throw it out there.

Handing him his mug, which he gladly takes, Kath sweeps her hair behind her ear, and then sighs deeply.

“Philip. I know how much you care for him.” she begins, as great and informal as she can muster up without making herself the vulnerable one in the situation, and at the same time making him feel stronger than he might. “And I have seen, and heard, and we all know that I _know._ ”

In that moment karen looks her beautiful, twenty-two-year-old son in the eyes. Properly.

There’s shock in there, but also a warmth she’s sure not even he expected to be there. He seems both like he wants to get up and leave, and like he wants to stay, pulled in by her voice, what she has to say, like a trance.

“I love you so much, and there’s nothing that could turn me away from that, especially not the way I’ve seen you love him. It only brings us all closer, I am sure. I _know_ that, Phil.”

Kath pauses, just to give Phil’s arm a gentle squeeze. It’s unable to give him all of the emotions she wants to convey, however, so she’ll just have to keep on talking until she derails the track completely. Maybe not until there is no track for this wreck, as that’d take too long.

“It’s your home, Phil, and it’s _our_ home. Even Dan’s. No matter how cold and horrible the outside world is to you, you’ll be safe here, with us.” she continues, this time laying her hand on his for a longer time. His pulse is fast on hers, but it steadies with every word.

He knows, and he understands.

There are tears in their eyes when she envelops him, the warmth of their bodies showing through as a vivid colour on the night sky.

“Thank you, mum..” Phil whispers silently, his unsteady breath tickling her ear. The comfort of it all brings her back to his younger days, when things like these were common procedure in the house. She knows now times like those can and will come back again.

Kathryn holds him, steady arms, for a longer time then she would've ever thought would be needed. And that’s okay. They’ll work through the tough times together, this time. She’ll give them all the comfort they might ever need.


End file.
